My Life Has Turned Out
Very Different Than What
I Thought It Would Be!
By Susan-Amanda Schratter
Recipes for Self-Love For Total Goodness and Sweetness
What do you do if have not pass through those so-called “normal” adult markers? When your path has followed a very different trajectory from others and you’re not feeling too great about it? Here is a nutritious Self-Love Recipe for meeting such circumstances.
First , drop in and contact any feelings of sadness, disappointment, and anger harboring inside. Normal and natural reactions to be sure. What do you do when your life has turned out much differently than you were expecting? When your path has followed a very different trajectory from others and you’re not feeling too great about it? Here is a nutritious Self-Love Recipe for meeting such circumstances.
Notice the meaning you assigned to your feelings about what you have and have not done. If they are filled with shaming judgments against yourself such as, “I’m a failure” or “I’m not good enough,” “There’s something wrong with me,” I suggest you give them a polite nod and then very deliberately dump them into the “trash bin. ” You can do this in your imagination or make it more physical by writing down on paper your self-rejecting judgments and condemnations, and if you wish, add some color or a symbol. Next, rip up this beastly collection and throw them away. Imagine powerful competent allies on your side helping you. Dust off your hands, take a deep breath, even move your body a bit. With that, tap into your inner reservoir of self-respect and dignity in your heart, belly, down your spine and clear down to your feet. If you cannot contact trust that it is buried somewhere in you, for we all innately sense we should be treated and regarded respectfully. Feel your spine, your core, your strength. It is your birthright to honor your path, whatever it may be. I do not believe we have the complete capacity to fully appreciate the deeper value of what our life-steps mean in the grander picture of our soul’s growth within a lifetime. There is a piece that remains in the realms of the unknown and mysterious.
Now comes the seasoning! Acknowledge what you have achieved, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, what you have lived through, the hoops of fire you have jumped and what you have received from these experiences. It seems that the living of our lives teaches us to be both proud and humble. Proud of our accomplishments, humility in our missteps and mistakes. Break these words to mis-steps “mis- takes,” give them a new meaning. Everyone on the planet makes bad decisions, drops the ball, misses the boat, fails to walk through an open door at an opportune time, loses courage and simply blows it. When we can acknowledge this honestly, compassionately and kindly, without making excuses, without beating ourselves up, we grow wiser, more peaceful and make more plentiful self-love and by extension, loving kindness towards others.
Find grace and dignity in your life path that follows a trajectory that is alternative to the so-called norm.
Here is a suggested statement to boldly declare:
“My Life Path That has followed a course alternative to the so-called “norm” has great value, purpose and dignity!”
Emotionally Nutritious Dining: Ingredients for this Recipe for Self-Love
1 Heaping Scoop of:
Joyful Accomplishment
1 Heaping Scoop of: Humanizing Humility and Graceful Dignity
Creativity Spices:
Assign a symbol and/or color to your accomplishments and learning.
You may place this symbol in a journal, on an altar, your desk, a mirror or your frig.
To make this delicious and nutritious Self-Love dish fill in the following with large spoonfulls of loving-kindness.
Accomplishment: _________________________________
Symbol/Color: ___________________________________
I have learned:_________________________________
Symbol/Color: ____________________________________
Here’s an example from my life to get you started:
Accomplishment:
Performing Stories in front of audiences up to 120 people with A Circle of Women in 1999.
Symbol: Velvet stage curtain.
Color: Royal Blue!
I have learned: Great courage in the face of insane over the top stage fright!
Symbol: Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.
Add as many Accomplishments and Learnings as you wish. Feelings may arise. Simply allow for them without judgment. Give them your love as you would a child. Continue to affirm your very own most unique journey.
The Paradoxical Twist (Imagine a Mobius Strip):
Albeit unending streams of thoughts, feelings and judgments that passes through us a hundred million times, our power, safety and freedom is in the Present Moment. Please take into account what you have accomplished and learned/received in the Present Moment. For me, as I am writing about a past event I am accomplishing being aware of the Present Moment: feeling my feet on the floor, breathing, my finger tips typing on the keyboard, my feelings in recalling performing stories, my enjoyment in writing right now. What I am learning is to practice being aware of the Present Moment, receiving a heightened experience of this Present Moment.
Most of us find that what we need to learn repeatedly reappears in our life in various disguises and forms. That’s okay! We all have major life themes of learning that our souls have set forth. Life mets out lots of opportunities for learning and practices as these qualities becomes fully embodied, fully us. I promise you, when you show up rooting for the team of you, for both your “loses” and “wins,” your loving supportive presence will keep your spirit strong as you move through the natural ebb and flow of your life.
Side Self-Love Dish
Be gentle and kind to yourself as you prepare this. Often our most profound schooling is from that which has been most difficult.
What I did not achieve: __________________________________________
What I learned: __________________________________________
One Person’s Example:
What I did not achieve: Completion of my college degree.
What I learned, gained, received: How to be resourceful and creative. To notice and appreciate my intelligence and talents.
Color: The rainbow for versatility.
Symbol: A diploma I make for myself.
May these Recipes for Self-Love make stronger the beautiful chambers of your heart.
Bon appetite!
I would love to hear from you about this process!
Please email me with feedback. susanamanda@sbcglobal.net
About me, Susan-Amanda Schratter, MA, MFT. I am a psychotherapist and would love to meet with you if you would like to share more deeply your feelings about your life and receive support for cultivating self- acceptance while making changes where possible. I have assisted people with a myriad of difficulties. For your convenience, I am available for both Skype sessions or in person sessions. Offices in Sebastopol and So, Novato. Medi-Cal (Partnership Health) insurance now accepted.
Contact me at: 415. 302-8185. I look forward to hearing from you.
What do you do if have not pass through those so-called “normal” adult markers? When your path has followed a very different trajectory from others and you’re not feeling too great about it? Here is a nutritious Self-Love Recipe for meeting such circumstances.
First , drop in and contact any feelings of sadness, disappointment, and anger harboring inside. Normal and natural reactions to be sure. What do you do when your life has turned out much differently than you were expecting? When your path has followed a very different trajectory from others and you’re not feeling too great about it? Here is a nutritious Self-Love Recipe for meeting such circumstances.
Notice the meaning you assigned to your feelings about what you have and have not done. If they are filled with shaming judgments against yourself such as, “I’m a failure” or “I’m not good enough,” “There’s something wrong with me,” I suggest you give them a polite nod and then very deliberately dump them into the “trash bin. ” You can do this in your imagination or make it more physical by writing down on paper your self-rejecting judgments and condemnations, and if you wish, add some color or a symbol. Next, rip up this beastly collection and throw them away. Imagine powerful competent allies on your side helping you. Dust off your hands, take a deep breath, even move your body a bit. With that, tap into your inner reservoir of self-respect and dignity in your heart, belly, down your spine and clear down to your feet. If you cannot contact trust that it is buried somewhere in you, for we all innately sense we should be treated and regarded respectfully. Feel your spine, your core, your strength. It is your birthright to honor your path, whatever it may be. I do not believe we have the complete capacity to fully appreciate the deeper value of what our life-steps mean in the grander picture of our soul’s growth within a lifetime. There is a piece that remains in the realms of the unknown and mysterious.
Now comes the seasoning! Acknowledge what you have achieved, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, what you have lived through, the hoops of fire you have jumped and what you have received from these experiences. It seems that the living of our lives teaches us to be both proud and humble. Proud of our accomplishments, humility in our missteps and mistakes. Break these words to mis-steps “mis- takes,” give them a new meaning. Everyone on the planet makes bad decisions, drops the ball, misses the boat, fails to walk through an open door at an opportune time, loses courage and simply blows it. When we can acknowledge this honestly, compassionately and kindly, without making excuses, without beating ourselves up, we grow wiser, more peaceful and make more plentiful self-love and by extension, loving kindness towards others.
Find grace and dignity in your life path that follows a trajectory that is alternative to the so-called norm.
Here is a suggested statement to boldly declare:
“My Life Path That has followed a course alternative to the so-called “norm” has great value, purpose and dignity!”
Emotionally Nutritious Dining: Ingredients for this Recipe for Self-Love
1 Heaping Scoop of:
Joyful Accomplishment
1 Heaping Scoop of: Humanizing Humility and Graceful Dignity
Creativity Spices:
Assign a symbol and/or color to your accomplishments and learning.
You may place this symbol in a journal, on an altar, your desk, a mirror or your frig.
To make this delicious and nutritious Self-Love dish fill in the following with large spoonfulls of loving-kindness.
Accomplishment: _________________________________
Symbol/Color: ___________________________________
I have learned:_________________________________
Symbol/Color: ____________________________________
Here’s an example from my life to get you started:
Accomplishment:
Performing Stories in front of audiences up to 120 people with A Circle of Women in 1999.
Symbol: Velvet stage curtain.
Color: Royal Blue!
I have learned: Great courage in the face of insane over the top stage fright!
Symbol: Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.
Add as many Accomplishments and Learnings as you wish. Feelings may arise. Simply allow for them without judgment. Give them your love as you would a child. Continue to affirm your very own most unique journey.
The Paradoxical Twist (Imagine a Mobius Strip):
Albeit unending streams of thoughts, feelings and judgments that passes through us a hundred million times, our power, safety and freedom is in the Present Moment. Please take into account what you have accomplished and learned/received in the Present Moment. For me, as I am writing about a past event I am accomplishing being aware of the Present Moment: feeling my feet on the floor, breathing, my finger tips typing on the keyboard, my feelings in recalling performing stories, my enjoyment in writing right now. What I am learning is to practice being aware of the Present Moment, receiving a heightened experience of this Present Moment.
Most of us find that what we need to learn repeatedly reappears in our life in various disguises and forms. That’s okay! We all have major life themes of learning that our souls have set forth. Life mets out lots of opportunities for learning and practices as these qualities becomes fully embodied, fully us. I promise you, when you show up rooting for the team of you, for both your “loses” and “wins,” your loving supportive presence will keep your spirit strong as you move through the natural ebb and flow of your life.
Side Self-Love Dish
Be gentle and kind to yourself as you prepare this. Often our most profound schooling is from that which has been most difficult.
What I did not achieve: __________________________________________
What I learned: __________________________________________
One Person’s Example:
What I did not achieve: Completion of my college degree.
What I learned, gained, received: How to be resourceful and creative. To notice and appreciate my intelligence and talents.
Color: The rainbow for versatility.
Symbol: A diploma I make for myself.
May these Recipes for Self-Love make stronger the beautiful chambers of your heart.
Bon appetite!
I would love to hear from you about this process!
Please email me with feedback. susanamanda@sbcglobal.net
About me, Susan-Amanda Schratter, MA, MFT. I am a psychotherapist and would love to meet with you if you would like to share more deeply your feelings about your life and receive support for cultivating self- acceptance while making changes where possible. I have assisted people with a myriad of difficulties. For your convenience, I am available for both Skype sessions or in person sessions. Offices in Sebastopol and So, Novato. Medi-Cal (Partnership Health) insurance now accepted.
Contact me at: 415. 302-8185. I look forward to hearing from you.
